There was a time

There were times in my life where I wanted to die. Funny thing was that these times didn’t come to me when I was deployed to foreign countries where stray mortars could have landed near me at any moment. No, they came when I was in the safety of my own country, surrounded by people I love……


To read more, please go to the post I wrote for the Seeker’s Dungeon.


I turned off comments for this post as it was written especially for Sreejit Poole’s blog. Please visit his always inspiring blog. It is filled with countless thought provoking pieces.





Hidden in the Dark

When I am gone, you’ll wonder why

Having no idea what’s inside

Cuz you never saw all my fears

And you never saw any tears I hid with lies


I smiled and acted-all was fine

Really, I was over the line

Darkness consumed all of my soul

Hiding from the world took its toll on all that’s mine


Never wanted to feel this gloom

Was like being stuck in a tomb

I looked for a way to the light

Didn’t want to die, tied to fight so I could bloom


I wanted to feel joy again

But the feeling would never end

You couldn’t help, I chose to die

I just had to give up the lie that I could mend



For dVerse Poets Florette Challenge.

No worries readers, this is not a letter of intent.

It is merely a poem about the very real struggle some have with depression, and I am NOT recommending suicide. I have been through my own seasons of deep sadness and have known many who suffer from depression. I have also coped with loved ones/comrades attempting suicide. They do not chose their struggles and it is hard for some to find their way out.


If you are one of those suffering, please know you are not alone and it is OK to get help. Please get help. You are loved by more than you think. And, some of us really do understand your pain.

Depressed Inside

Alone he sits.
Alone he waits.
He pretends,
Everything’s great.

But deep inside,
He starts to die.
And those around,
Don’t know why.

Life seems full.
Life seems fun.
But he stares,
At a loaded gun.

He’s tired of pain.
He’s tired of lies.
Every night,
He sits and cries.

But in the day,
He walks with smiles.
Laughs and jokes,
Hiding his trials.

In their eyes,
He has it all.
They don’t know,
He’s about to fall.

Can they save him
From the thoughts?
Or is he really,
Already lost?


A dark poem on depression and thoughts of suicide that I wrote in honor of all of us who have ever had dark moments in life, particularly my comrades in arms with severe PTSD. Just know,  you are not alone though. From someone who thought of it at least once in her life and who has had close loved ones attempt it, please know, you ARE loved and it can and does get better. It just takes one step at a time and agreeing you could use a hand.

For the dVerse Open Link Night #157.