Flickr / Hamed Saber

Unrequited


I drink in your lies

Swallowing them with pain

The longer I stay with you

The more I feel insane

 ~

My words do not matter

They fall to the floor in waste

I stand before you trembling

Waiting, in timid haste

 ~

I want you to love me

Like I loved you in the start

But you continue to stab

Every damn bit of my heart

~

But I don’t really quit

And I continue to wait

For I hope and I dream

That maybe, just maybe…

it is not too late

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For all those who lived a one-sided love at one point in their lives.

final-14

Mirage of life


As a writer and photographer, I feel like I see more than some people. Sometimes it is a little thing that a busy person would ignore. Other times, it is something magical created by my own imagination. Either way, I know of no other way to live.

Well, let me rephrase that. I KNOW how to live a hectic, busy life that makes you miss the small treasures in life. I also REMEMBER what it was like to not dream, hope or create. Neither of the lifeless outlooks appeal to me anymore. I am too tired to do that now; so I am consciously choosing to see the wonder and hope in the world.

I WANT to see the grace of a bird in flight. I NEED to feel the breeze on my skin. I YEARN for more mindfulness in my days. Our lives here on Earth are limited, and none of us know when that time will end. So I want to enjoy what I have left.

Yes, the world if full of hateful, angry, and stupid people. There are countless piles of red tape and minutia to get tangled up in. And, there can be drama in nearly every facet in life. I know people who thrive off this drama, this anger, this red tape. They spin in circles and weave webs of confusion. I just can’t do it….anymore.

Not that I am ignoring the ills of reality and living in a Pollyanna world, but I am TRYING to keep all of that stress and drama outside of my door to limit its impact on my life.  Sometimes, this is easier said than done of course. But when these times come, I try to give the problem a time limit.

I remember I watched some horror movie a few years back. I wish I could remember the name of it so that I could quote it properly, but I can’t. Regardless, in the movie there was a conversation that resonated with me. In the scene, there were two characters who were preparing to face some evil entity or power, and they were discussing fear. One of them told the other, they gave fear the power over them, but only for a few seconds. They would soak in the moment, the terror, the realization. But after addressing those feelings, they chose to act. They said something to the extent that the fear had to be felt because the situation was real. They had to process that emotion, but that feeling was also what fueled them into action.

This really stuck with me. It made sense. You can’t solve a problem if it immobilizes you. You also can’t solve it if you ignore it. This mentality has morphed into my life. I refuse to let problems paralyze me. I will find a way to solve them. And if I can’t solve them, I will find another way to change, cope or accommodate the situation that works for me. I also make a conscious choice on the battles I chose. Let’s face, not all things need to be addressed, at least by me. So I shuffle my priorities to acknowledge pressing issues as needed. They too, are given a time limit and perhaps, revisited later if needed.

This juggling of energy has allowed me to open my eyes to the world around me. It permits me to not get overwhelmed with the ugliness of the world. It reminds me of the good that is indeed out there. This daily awareness has brought me more joy and hope than I ever thought were possible. And let’s face it, the world could use a little bit more joy and hope on a daily basis.

 ~~

Note on the photo: the photo above is an iPhone shot I took of a bird flying over a pond in Florida. Just a simple shot that really wasn’t all that powerful due to the resolution and focus of trying to capture a bird in flight on camera.

But, I saw more. I saw grace and power and magic. So, I played around and created the montage in Pixlr by adding a border and an overlay. Then, poof – there is the magic I saw and felt as I watched this bird fly.

~~~~~~~~~~~

For Sally D’s Mobile Photography Challenge