Hidden in the Dark

When I am gone, you’ll wonder why

Having no idea what’s inside

Cuz you never saw all my fears

And you never saw any tears I hid with lies

 

I smiled and acted-all was fine

Really, I was over the line

Darkness consumed all of my soul

Hiding from the world took its toll on all that’s mine

 

Never wanted to feel this gloom

Was like being stuck in a tomb

I looked for a way to the light

Didn’t want to die, tied to fight so I could bloom

 

I wanted to feel joy again

But the feeling would never end

You couldn’t help, I chose to die

I just had to give up the lie that I could mend

 

~~~~~~~~~~

For dVerse Poets Florette Challenge.

No worries readers, this is not a letter of intent.

It is merely a poem about the very real struggle some have with depression, and I am NOT recommending suicide. I have been through my own seasons of deep sadness and have known many who suffer from depression. I have also coped with loved ones/comrades attempting suicide. They do not chose their struggles and it is hard for some to find their way out.

 

If you are one of those suffering, please know you are not alone and it is OK to get help. Please get help. You are loved by more than you think. And, some of us really do understand your pain.

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37 thoughts on “Hidden in the Dark

  1. Pingback: 2015 Wrap Up | Chasing Life and Finding Dreams

  2. Readers can find comfort in knowing they are not alone. That tomb you mention is also like a cloud that settles over someone…as much as one tries to push it away, it won’t budge. The right combination of meds and dialog are helping lots of people; there is help and hope…life ought not be so painful..for no reason. Very nice flow to this poem 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for your comment. You describe it well. I think the more people realize help is out there, the more they will be willing to go. Life can be so hard, yet so beautiful at other times. So I hope they never give up those chances for joy

      Like

  3. If you had not put a post-script I would’ve been really worried – your words feel like they came from deep down, describing the pain so vividly and clearly, they tore my heart apart.
    Thank you for sharing this poem. Hugs.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I can say that I’ve felt lost in sadness at times in my life, do they do come from some understanding. However, I could never do that to my children and after experiencing scares from loved ones, I know the pain it causes. It wasn’t always easy, but I tried to remember the hope in another day. And faith in God certainly played a part of course. And he is rewarding me now with more than I deserve:)

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Your poem tells of a very real scenario where people feel that to die is the only way to find peace again. I’ve dealt with depression too through the years but have never felt like committing suicide. I too appreciated your closing lines that encourage those who are suffering to get help. Thank you for your most meaningful share and for joining in with the prompt…excellent work.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you. I can’t lie, it’s crossed my mind over the years. Fortunately, it’s never been a thought that I took too seriously, but more of an overly dramatic fleeting thought in a crazy moment. So it passed. But, I’ve thought it nonetheless. Therefore, I understand the thought process to an extent. I just hope people get help, and that’s the hard part. We all hate to ask for help.

      Like

  5. A world of dark and
    light.. differences..
    and similarities..
    but a Universe of
    human mind is no less
    varied than the rest of
    all that is..
    a place that can be so different
    in light or dark.. that one will not be
    distinguishable to
    a person living
    in another
    dimension
    of dark or light
    senses and feelings..
    Depression.. a bedfellow
    of anhedonia.. for a full
    66 months for me.. eras
    of months and years
    in young adult
    life.. too..
    but what i do
    now more than
    anything that even with
    the worst pain known to
    mankind Type two Trigeminal
    Neuralgia from wake to sleep
    accompanying that zero
    point of emotions
    as well.. REALIZE
    iS.. iT CAN GET BETTER
    AND OMG I WISH I COULD
    HAVE FOUND ANYONE WITH
    Type Two Trigeminal Neuralgia
    in the entire world.. but there
    were none who experienced
    what i experienced then
    in finding anyone..
    and why i mention
    it so often
    in poetry..
    just in case
    there is someone
    out there in real
    literal human
    hell
    too..
    anything is possible
    with one simple
    word..
    survive.. as there
    is another now
    and potential
    of something
    anything
    different
    with the next now..
    and my recovery was and is
    both miraculous and sudden
    not from just that pain..
    but from 19 medical
    disorders and
    the dead
    heart too..
    with a real
    Phoenix human
    rising from the ashes..
    back on or about
    July 22nd 2013..
    in a miracle beyond my
    wildest dreams of human
    possibilities and potential.. but
    truly there are no limits or
    expectations
    with never
    giving
    up..:)

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Wow, wow, wow! This is really such a strong poem using the form. I think the form even kind of strengthens the message. When I wrote mine I couldn’t think of a serious subject (sigh), but now that I have read yours I wish I would have! Excellent message.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Depression, when it is clinical, certainly can be a killer (i.e.: Robin Williams). Your use of the form was excellent, but your topic & style was so powerful, the form fades from focus; nice job.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. This is such an incredibly powerful poem. You allow each of us to feel how deep the despair that comes with significant depression can be. For my part, I appreciate your afterward just in case some reader could misrepresent it. You give a call for hope.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Depression has touched me, friends and family. I’ve been lucky to have some of them fail at their suicide attempts and are now healing. Some you would never know they ever tried. Others are still on their journey to wellness. It’s hard for loved ones to understand it sometimes. But, we must if we want to reach them. There is always hope. Sometimes we just need to let others know we need it. I certainly didn’t want any to think I supported it or was making light of it. It’s very real. I only wanted to hint at what they could feel, to spread understanding.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. This was so touching and brought back my own days of darkness and depression, the feeling and belief that I’d never mend. I especially appreciate your disclaimer at the end, the reminder to those who are still in darkness that there is hope and they are loved, even if it doesn’t feel like it. Peace, Linda

    Liked by 1 person

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