Antisocial Enjoyment

The past few months, I have thoroughly enjoyed being antisocial. I don’t seek to be that way, but I just get into what I am doing and then, I don’t really feel like talking.

For example, I will go downtown and sit at a coffee shop or bar and start reading. I may make some small talk with the bar tender if it is one I have seen before and they recognize me. But more often than not, I just sit, read, and then enjoy a drink and maybe some food.

A few of my friends say reading at a bar is not really “acceptable.” Well, I never got that rule book so I say, whatever, screw these imaginary rules. Why would reading at a bar be less acceptable than reading at a coffee bar? I see other people reading at coffee places all the time. So does the presence of alcoholic drinks make it mandatory for social interaction? I would hope not.

Just this past Friday, I went to a restaurant bar, a place I had gone to several times before. I had about an hour to enjoy a drink before watching a ballet across the street. So, I sat and ordered a drink. I was about to pull out my book but this gentleman came and sat down. He just started talking and talking. He was a nice guy and about 25 years older than me, but I just didn’t care about what he was saying. I really wanted to read and enjoy my drink…alone. I could have told him to leave, but I am too nice at times, particularly if the “offender” is nice. I hate to be rude. I can totally do rude, but it’s usually only if approached in a rude and disrespectful manner. So, if someone is just being nice and bit too chatty, it is hard for me to scream….OMG-please just go away.

Other than reading, I like to take a few random pictures. Pictures of my drinks, my food, my book, the light hitting the bar. I am sure I look like the lonely lady at the bar with a book and her camera phone, but you know what, I am happy and don’t really care. It is my quiet time where I deal with stress.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

I am sure I would enjoy someone tagging along with me (and sometimes that does happen), but if I want to go and my friends are busy, I will go. I spent too many years waiting for other people to do things with me. No more. If I want to go out. I go. If that means I go out alone, so be it. And clearly, I am perfectly fine with it as I seem to feel invaded when that time is interrupted.

Has anyone else ever felt this way? I would like to think that I am not the only antisocial person out there. And for those of you who are like me, how do you nicely say – leave me a lone?


For the Phoneography Challenge (Challengers Choice ~ Food), click on the badge to join the fun!

iphone challenge

But make sure you check out the host’s post today. Sally always has some great information and pictures!

16 thoughts on “Antisocial Enjoyment

  1. Beautiful photos, very nicely composed. They could have been in a magazine.
    As to your question…Because I travelled a lot globally due to my job, I am pretty used to being in restaurants and cafes, and to not bother at all to read and/or eat alone. I guess that it is easier for a woman to remain alone if we don’t make eye contact with anyone. And if anyone tried to approach me with a smile, while I wanted to remain alone, I simply smiled back politely and lowered my eyes, indicating my choice. It always worked.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Occasionally I travel alone on business and have no problem going out to dinner, or a show, or just exploring on my own.
    However, it’s always nice if strangers notice me sitting alone and invite me to join them. Depending on the situation I will sometimes take them up on their offer.
    But if you’re sitting there reading a book and someone just sits down without asking for or receiving permission to join you, and starts chatting you up like you’re old friends, they’re clearly blind to basic social clues.
    Maybe it’s just my grumpy old man coming out, but I find that incredibly rude and disrespectful.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Before I got involved with my wife-to-be I used to always take a book with me when I went out to eat. That did not stop people coming up to my table, sit down and talk to me because they thought I looked lonely. This included people from the restaurant owner to an 11 year old girl. I was always polite but inwardly screaming “Leave me alone!”

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I agree that earphones are a good disguise when you don’t want to talk, even if you’re not listening to music. I love to talk with people most of the time, but I also usually have a book with me and if you’ve paid for a drink, whether alcoholic or not, you have as much right to sit and read as others have to sit and talk or try to get picked up! I enjoyed your photos, although they made me hungry and thirsty. 🙂 I like the line of martinis and the shot at home with the fireplace blurred in the background. Wish I were there. 😉 But you wouldn’t have to talk to me.


    Liked by 1 person

    • I am glad my photos had that effect on you. Now, that is a compliment! I was cracking up with your “you wouldn’t have to talk to me” line. Classically funny!


  5. Since last year I appreciate my alone time. If i dont want to be bothered at all, i would just put my earphones on. Sometimes I dont even turn the music on. I just pretend Im listening to something and act busy like reading or checking my phone. It works. Not so nice but its better rather than saying “pls go away” 😀 but if the person still speaks to me, I will entertain but I act uninterested and then the moment he stops talking I put on my earphones again so he can see that I am not up for a chat. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Your food and drinks photos are great! I especially liked the line up of martinis. You sound very comfortable with yourself, and that is a good thing! I think I’d just tell a chatty person that you’ve enjoyed talking with them and that now you’re just going to do a little reading while you finish your drink. Said in a nice way, I’m sure it would not come across as rude.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Pingback: Phoneography and Non-SLR Digital Devices Photo Challenge: Challenger’s Choice (Architecture of Nature) | Lens and Pens by Sally

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s