The cold tunnel shielded the wind, almost making it warm. But the cold wasn’t why he hid in the tunnel really. He had practically lost all ability to feel more pain. His heart was numb. So, he didn’t hid from the cold but rather the reality of what had become his life.
Mark stared at the view like he was looking into a snow globe. The lights reflected off the shimmering river. The crisp white flakes of lace blanketed the sloped bank. And it was quiet, and peaceful. It wasn’t at all like the flashing scenes of darkness and screaming in his head.
It was in these moments of peace he remembered his life. Well, his life before this. It wasn’t perfect but it was perfect enough. He was happy man, a respected man and a hopeful man. He remembered Amanda, her smile, her laugh. He’d known his wife since they met in middle school. And since then, they were inseparable. After college, they got married and all the town could say was, what took you so long. They were in no rush though. They had each other.
About a year after being married, they found out they were pregnant. They practically glowed in happiness as they moved about town. People couldn’t help but stare at them and smile. They were the perfect couple.
Then, one night it was all ruined.
As Amanda and Mark returned from an evening out, a drunk driver slammed into their car, on the passenger side, where Amanda sat. The idiot was driving so fast, his car collided with enough force to pin Amanda in the car. After the initial shock of the hit, Mark regained consciousness. He could hear Amanda screaming, crying out. Oh my God! Mark! The baby! I can’t feel it. I can’t feel anything!
Mark scrambled about the car, wobbly from his own injuries. But he could move. Amanda couldn’t. Her car door was crushing her into her seat. Mark held her hand. Kissed her. And laid his head on her stomach. Hold on little one. Don’t you leave me. Please don’t leave me.
His pleas were not enough though. Amanda and the baby left Mark that night. And with them, his heart and feelings died too. Since then, Mark lived in a daze. Not really alive but not yet dead either. He felt dead though. But until that happened, he would sit here and push away the screams of that horrible day, and sit here and watch the snow globe and pretend it wasn’t cracked.