He wielded the machete over and over. Clearly, he had done this before, and I was mesmerized. It wasn’t every day you saw a handsome, chiseled, God of a man working in front of your house. So I continued to stare from the safety of my front porch.
His tan arms were taut and glistening in the sun. His bronze hair was gleaming, reflecting the light as it tousled just above his brow. His snug jeans were proudly displaying his muscular, attractive thighs. Oh my. This was not just any city worker. Oh no. This was as good as a male review show but without the cover charge. And all I had to do was stand here and enjoy the show.
Time passed but I couldn’t be sure how much. It could have been minutes or it could have been seconds. However, it was enough time for my mind to wander… and wonder about how I could unawkwardly introduce myself. Maybe I could offer him a drink? I had just made my favorite blackberry protein smoothie. All my friends loved it. He probably would too, and it was hot out after all. Or maybe, I could just casually wander over and ask him about the brush clearing and when he thought the area would be done and a little safer from snakes. I hated snakes. That’s it. As a homeowner and single woman, it would be normal to have that type of discussion. Wouldn’t it? And if I happened to offer him a cool beverage in hospitality while chatting, all the better.
So I went inside, grabbed him a drink and double checked myself in the mirror. Messy pony tail, yoga pants and flushed cheeks from my workout. That would work I guess and make it seem like a casual conversation, like I was not trying too hard.
I headed outside and toward the porch stairs. He looked up when he heard the porch door slam. For a split second I caught a glimpse of his piercing brown eyes. Oh dear. I told myself to smile, wave, and act natural. He waved back and I smiled casually and held up the drinks to show him a break was coming. He wiped his brow and set down his tools and smiled. Oh my. What a sexy smile he had. Play it cool girl, I told myself. I started down the stairs. Everything was going well. And then…when I hit the bottom step, I fell, or should I say tumbled. Next thing I knew I was laying on the sidewalk, covered in cold purple drinks and looking a bit bewildered. Before I realized it, the gorgeous man was at my side.
“Are you ok?”
“Um, I think so,” I said in a stupor.
“That was some dismount from the stairs. I would give it an 8.”
I looked down at myself and thought. Oh Lord. This was not the first impression I wanted to make. But here I am. So I tried to make the best of it. “What? Only an 8? Had you tried my smoothie, you would have given me a 10.”
He laughed. Damn, he had a sexy laugh. “Maybe. Are you sure you are ok?”
“Yes. Thank you. I am not normally so clumsy. Not sure what happened there.”
“I think your cat sabotaged you,” he whispered.
I looked in his hand. There he held a cat toy, a hard wooden ball. Evidently, it had rolled off the porch and down the steps.
“Oh, I guess she did. She’s always been a brat.”
“Well, if it makes you feel better, I am glad she did. I was wondering when you would come talk to me. I saw you watching me.”
“Well, now, that sounds awkward,” I said bashfully. “I was just wondering about the brush clearing and when it would be done.”
He smiled. “Oh, yes of course. It should be done tomorrow.”
“So soon? That’s good,” but my voice betrayed me by sounding a little too sad.
He smiled and grabbed my hand. “Well, let me help you up.”
“Oh, yes. Thank you.”
Once he was standing, he released his grip from tingling flesh. Then, he looked down and notice he had some smoothie on his finger. He licked his finger, smiled and said, “You are right. Your smoothie is awesome. I change my score to a 10.”
I bust out laughing. This man had a sense of humor and made me laugh. I liked that. “Well, if you would like to try an actual glass of it, your welcome to come inside for a break if that is allowed.”
“I think breaks are allowed, and I would love a cold drink to be honest.”
“Alright then, let me get you one…in a glass this time.”
We started up the steps and I heard my cat meow. I stopped and looked back at her momentarily. “Thanks Fluffy,” I called over my shoulder sarcastically. “I won’t forget this.” No. I would not forget this. I would have to thank her later.
- Try to write a humor piece.
- No word count limit.
- Pick at least three of the following words to include: dog, cat, toy, fever, ski, fluffy, machete, purple drink