Open Letter to Divorced Women


Ladies, if you went through a divorce or are going through a divorce, I am sorry. Regardless of the reasons for it, it can be a stressful time. However, this stress should not become your children’s burdens. The divorce is between your husband and you, not between your husband and your children.

Ever since I was a teen, and since I myself became divorced, I have noticed some disturbing behavior among my fellow divorcees that is absolutely ridiculous. Ladies, please. Some of you are perpetuating the bitter/greedy/crazy ex stereotype. Please stop.

For those of you who are unclear of what I mean (and interested), read on. For the sake of simplicity, below is a list of unnecessary actions that I have witnessed or heard of from friends, fellow divorcees and friends of friends.

Bashing Your EX in Front of the Children

There is just no reason for this. Yes, the man may have been a gambling, cheating, unloving or controlling husband. Maybe he was even a lazy, irresponsible or despondent spouse. Got it. He was not a great husband in your eyes, which is likely why you got divorced. That means, your relationship with him is over. However, he still has a relationship with his children. His issues with you are not necessarily issues with his kids. A bad husband doesn’t always mean a bad dad. Let the kids form their own untainted opinions of their father. They deserve that right. If you need to bash him or vent, call your girl friends or a counselor, but stop warping your own children’s minds against their father. It only hurts them in the long run.

Expecting Ridiculous Sums of Money

Yes, there needs be a division of property, child support or whatever else is needed to divide assets and responsibilities. When thought of like a business dissolving, the division should be fair and equitable to both. One spouse should not tower over the other completely for no other reason than spite. Of course, the problem here is that the odds of the divorcing couple agreeing on what is fair are very low.

When I got divorced, I asked for much, much less than what everyone suggested, recommended, or allowed for retirement. I simply wanted fair (though I am sure any amount over zero was still not desired of course). To me, fair was some small amount of retirement since I did not have a retirement due to 20 years of frequent military moves that caused me to change my civilian jobs. So I asked for what I thought was reasonable, not what everyone said I should take. I was told, I was being “too nice” and “you can get so much more.” However, I did not want to rake the man over the coals, I just wanted a chance to retire one day before I was 100. So we negotiated.

The mentality of “take him for all he is worth” is way too common though. A military friend is paying his ex’s house payment, kids allowances AND child support. I don’t know the exact amount but I know it is nearly three-fourths of his check. He can barely live. How is that fair? To me, that just seems greedy, especially when this particular divorcee could get off her butt and get a job. Just because she didn’t work while they were married doesn’t mean she is incapable of doing it now. She is not mentally or physically handicapped, so there is no reason for him to have to pay her to stay home. Have some pride woman! Get a damn job!

Or, another divorcee who took one house in the split while also wanting equity in the other house the couple was paying on (which was purchased on a down payment that came from the husband’s mother’s will). And this is on top of wanting child support, half of all child school/medical/camp/etc bills, half of his retirement, and half of a business property she never even helped with. Oh wait, but there is more. She won’t even return jewelry that has been in his family for decades when asked. Funny thing is, this lady makes more money than the man. It seems a little one-sided from this view. But hey, he got out of a lifeless, controlling marriage, so maybe he did get the better deal after all.

But I digress…the point is, when you think about money, flip the situation. Would you think it was fair if it was reversed? Or what if it was your friend who had to pay?

Playing Games With Visitation Time

The unfortunate need for the child to rotate between the parents is merely a fact of divorce. It sucks, but don’t make it harder on your own child. Every child deserves time with their dad. If you have an ex who is trying to see his kids…LET HIM. Children without fathers miss things, desire that connection. Why would you want to take that bond from your own child? Unless your ex is an abusive person and you fear for your child’s well-being, let him be the dad he is trying to be! Sure he may make mistakes. But guess what ladies, we do too as mothers. And if he sucks as a dad, well, the kids will figure that out without your interference.

I have seen ladies agree to a visit time only to change it once the man arrives after driving for several hours. Another clearly badgered or manipulated the children so much that when the dad arrived, the kids opened the door to say they didn’t want to see him so he may as well go spend time with his ‘whore’ (a girlfriend they never even met yet and came years after the divorce). To me, this is an obvious ‘mom opinion’ being put on the children since they are under 10 years of age. I know children don’t always like the other woman at first, but when they have not even met her or been told about her yet (by dad at least), that language is clearly a problem.

But, I have seen even more! One woman took her kids and hid them from their father, allowing him to only see them for an hour a week in a park so that she could eagerly collect his money. Otherwise, she refused to tell the dad where they lived or allow any other visits. For the love of his kids, he took what she was willing to offer. So essentially, she kidnapped the children for no reason but still wants his money. (Yes, he is awaiting a court date on this situation.) This is just crazy to me, especially since this dad has no record of anything that would indicate such a restriction from his children. As a mom, this infuriates me to no end. This bat-shit crazy behavior will only hurt her own children.What kind of mother does this?!

Texting/Calling/E-Mailing About Things Other Than Your Child or Money

There is no reason to contact your ex about the past. It is over. Move on. Focus on the present and the needs of the children. Keep it professional and direct: What time can you pick up X? Does X have his backpack at your house? X said she was over at your house, is that true? Can you find out if something is bothering X? She seems sad and won’t talk to me, maybe she will open up to you. These are parental conversations with the goals of helping the child. So, there are good to have. Tag team parenting benefits the child.

Unfortunately, I have heard of less fruitful discussions: Why didn’t you ever do X with me (something referring back to 12 years ago)? X doesn’t want to see you, which I can understand! Did you enjoy your time in New York? How come you are now doing X? Are you happy now?

These conversations are pointless and should not be had. You are divorced and that means there is no longer any reason to hash things out, chat or discuss things (other than the kids). That is, unless you are trying to get him back…  If not, and/or he is in a new relationship, just stop. Sending 18 texts in one night makes you look sad and rather pathetic. Again, save these rants for your girlfriends and counselor and maybe hide your phone the next time you drink a bottle of wine.

Creeping Around Ex’s House

If you still have access to your ex’s home for the purpose of the child, then don’t be a creepy stalker. Whether you have a key, garage door opener or merely enter with your child, remember your presence is for the child and the child only. That means you go in, help your little lovely get their things, see their room they wanted to show you, or pick up a needed, but forgotten item. That does NOT mean you leave notes in the house for your ex to find, sneak around looking at their post-divorce décor, take belongings that you wanted but forgot or remove items out of spite. This also means you have no reason to be parked outside of your ex’s house late at night, or ever, unless there is a child being dropped off/picked up.

I have heard about all of these and it is just weird and very disturbing. If you wouldn’t want him doing these very things at your house or to you, maybe you should not do them either. Just saying.

Follow or Bash Them on Social Media

Social media is nearly everywhere these days. It is almost unavoidable. However, it is possible to avoid stalking your ex or bashing them on social media. If you get the desire to see what they are doing or saying on whatever site, that is normal at first, but it should fade in time. When I first got divorced, I wondered and looked. Then, I had an AHA moment…what am I doing and why? I had no good reason or answer other than the habit of wanting to know your spouse’s thoughts/whereabouts, so I blocked my ex to remove the temptation. And after some time, the temptation was simply no longer there. So the point is, if you are an ex, what do you care what they are doing, how they are doing or who they are doing? Oh, and if you asked for the divorce, and you got it…why are you stalking and harassing them anyway? You didn’t want them. You got what you wanted. Now it’s time to move on and get your own life. Trust me, you will be much happier, if that is even possible in life.

As for the bashing your ex on social media…that is just trashy, immature and goes back to point one ‘Bashing your Ex in Front of the Children’ (see the first section). Hint hint ladies, the kids could see your posts, and if they don’t their friends will. And frankly, no one wants to read your drama on there anyway. Again, save these rants for your gal pals or therapist.

Show up at Places you KNOW your Ex will be at

You know your ex’s schedule and favorite places most likely. You were married after all. However, have some class and don’t purposely go seeking to “accidentally” run into him. Yes, maybe you love that place too. And if that is the case, and your motivation for going there is pure, maybe it can work for you both in time. Unfortunately though, I have seen/heard of the opposite. Divorcees who suddenly start to appear at their ex’s favorite restaurants, sporting events or community locations seems a bit odd when their pre-divorce attendance was slim to none. Think about it ladies. If you didn’t want to go while you were married, doesn’t it seem a bit odd that you are now a regular? I suggest doing some soul searching. What is your real reason for going there? If it is genuine and has absolutely nothing to do with him, than go on with your confident woman self. I’ll even give you a girl-power high-five for that matter. However, if you are going to just ruffle his feathers, find a chance to see him or take a peek at the new girlfriend…you really need to get a hobby, and a life.

 

I realize that some of these things are not easy, especially when the divorce is fresh and you are licking your wounds and adjusting. And depending on how long you were married, it will take a certain amount of time to mentally close that chapter of your life. So faltering in some of these areas at first is quite natural. (Well, except the creepy stalking things. Those should not come natural. Ever.) The point is to be conscious of you actions and words because your kids will be watching you. They need you to show them life is still OK, they are still loved and it is OK to still love their father. They need to see that their parents are still their parents and not two warring enemies.

Early in my post-divorce adjustment, I tried to be aware of my words and actions. I didn’t want to be bitter like some divorcees I knew. I also wanted the kids to have a healthy relationship with their father. When they would talk about time with dad, I would smile and say it was great even if it made me sad that I was not the one to give them joy or wanted that time with them. Sure, there was a petty, jealous part of me, but I had to step back from that part and be a mom. I had to be happy that my children were experiencing fun with their father. Or on the other side, when they would complain that their dad did this or that, I would try to support him. Yes, I tried to support HIM. I would tell the kids, Well, your dad loves you and is trying to make you work hard. Or, your dad may not always say things how you want, but you do know he loves you right? And, if there was something I just couldn’t support, I would stay silent (while biting my lip) and just offer a hug and an ear. I did not try to undermine him or degrade him. That would not have been helpful to my children, and it would have only made myself look petty.

I admit, I wasn’t always successful though. I had moments where things slipped. Like one day, my daughter and I were working on something and I said, why don’t you just do this? She joked, when did you get so smart mom? Without thinking, I replied, when I divorced your dad. As soon as the words escaped my mouth, I covered my face, ooops. I am so sorry. My daughter started laughing and said, Mom, you never say anything about dad so that was really funny. I will let you slide this once. Though I slipped, she had just told me that I was overall successful and she respected it. To me, that was a victory. I wasn’t clearing every post-divorce hurdle, but I was finishing the race strong nonetheless. My kids were happy and adjusting. They knew that both their father and I would be there when they needed us. They saw that it was OK to love us both and that they didn’t have to tiptoe around each parent by not mentioning the other. They were learning a new normal, like I was, and that we would all be OK again, just in a different way.

So, take it from me ladies, you can avoid the pitfalls above when you frame your words and actions around what is best for your kids. Just remember, you divorced from him, the kids did not. And, in time, you can all be a happy, nontraditional, dysfunctional family like most of us are anyway. So go on with your bad, super-mom selves and rediscover that woman you want to be. I just hope that woman is not the mean-spirited, bitter, hateful, greedy, creepy, stalker-like woman I have seen a lot of. Please don’t be her. We already have too many of them.

 

 

Running With Love


It has taken me most of my life to learn this lesson sadly. Countless times I thought if I just did this or that, someone would like me. If I could just be more…they would love me. I could never do enough though, and I always felt it was my defect that caused it.

With age and wisdom, I have realized, it wasn’t always my fault when a relationship didn’t blossom, whether intimate or friend. Sometimes, it just didn’t work. Plain and simple. They didn’t do anything and I didn’t do anything. It just didn’t click. Or, sometimes, I just tried too hard to please. I gave too much, too fast and the person surely got overwhelmed.

That’s the thing though. I am an all or nothing kind of girl. I either like you or don’t. I am your friend or not. I never thought I was wasting my time on people. I was giving them my all. I wanted to be their friend. I desired to be their girlfriend. If I felt a connection, I ran with it. The problem, in hind sight, was that they were not running in the same direction or speed. It was those moments when I looked around and found myself alone and hurt-wondering what I did.

Years and tears later, my more confident self is assured, it has all worked out for the best. I have had experiences that have made me smile deep into my heart and others that have made me cry out my soul. It is the roller coaster of life and I am happy to ride it. I just refuse to ride it with anyone not going in the same direction anymore.

“You cannot convince people to love you.

This is an absolute rule. No one will ever give you love

because you want him or her to give it.

Real love moves freely in both directions.

Don’t waste your time on anything else.”

~ Cheryl Strayed~

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Memories of Ponies, Superpowers


When I was a girl, I wanted a pony, thought I was a writer and believed I had telekinesis. As an adult, my reality is really not that far off my childhood fantasies.

I don’t own a pony exactly, but I do have a short stocky horse that I call my pretty little pony. Honestly, as I child I thought a pony was really just a baby horse. It made perfect sense to me then. Apparently, that is not the correct technical meaning though. Huh. Good to know. Regardless, I will still call my old, 14-hand, sorrel quarter horse mare, my pony.

Since I didn’t own a horse back then, I would use my dreams of ponies to inspire some of my writing. I would write stories and poems about horses. My story horses were majestic beasts. They had a connection to their owner, who was always someone who resembled myself or someone I wanted to be. These horses were smart, helping their owner accomplish noble deeds. They carried themselves with such grace. Some, even flew. I wrote about other things of course, but horses were my go-to animal. I connected with horses…and I feel like I still do.

In one stories, my flying horse helped a brilliant, confident girl who had telekinesis. She would move things around for the good of other people. Sure she would make mind movements for the sake of laughter or ease. She was a kid after all. However, she never used this power to hurt people.

I think about this young girl with super powers and I realize, I am still her basically. No, I don’t really have telekinesis. (So there is no need to notify the government for them to come test me and try to harvest my powers. In reality, they are already using my skills for that matter anyway since I am a government employee and Army Reserve Soldier.) I do have the ability move things without physical force though. I can move things with my example, my words, my silence. It is not necessarily the form of telekinesis that I dreamt of, but I suppose it draws less concern among the public (and less medical probing). Over the years, I found that I have the ability to affect people. It has taken me years to realize this unfortunately. For years, I thought I was powerless, a victim at times. Other people did things to me. Other people manipulated me. Other people controlled the situation. This has not always been the case though. Of course, I cannot control the careless hurtful words of others. Nor can I demand they treat me with respect and love. But, I can control myself and my reactions. And through my own reactions, behaviors, words…or even silence, I can affect them. With my actions, I can escalate anger or love. I can inspire confusion or understanding. I can cause tears or laughter.

Overall, I can either accept how I am treated by others, or shut it down and walk away. I have the power to set expectations on how I want to be treated. If I carry myself with pride and confidence, people tend to treat me with more respect, more esteem. If I am down on myself and insecure, people seem to doubt me and walk on my opinions and feelings.

Of course carrying myself nobly is not always easy. Like most folks in the world, I doubt myself. Do I know enough about this topic to speak on it intelligently? Have I gained too much weight? Do these people even want to hear what I have to say? Did I do that task well enough to present? It is hard not to doubt ourselves, and there is a fine line between confidence and cockiness. This line tends to move each day too. Some days I can find it and walk it. Other days, not so much.

What I am discovering though, is that that little girl long ago was not afraid of who she was. She stood tall with her pony at her side. She wrote down her stories. And she moved things in the world to help others. That girl is still me. She may be older and bit less elegant, and her horse is shorter and a bit more frumpy. Nonetheless, she still rides with happiness and joy in her heart. She still writes her thoughts, her feelings, her stories. And, she still tries to move things in the world without force and the goal of making it better. After years of struggle, I thought that little girl was gone. She didn’t disappear. No, she is still there. She just got a little lost.

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For the Daily Post ~ Great Pretender.

Because my pretend life showed me who I wanted to be. 🙂

Also fits the Daily Post ~Ballerina Fireman Astronaut Movie Star.

 

Everybody Lies


Everyone lies. Everyone. If you say you don’t, than you are already lying. So just stop denying it. You are a liar like the rest of us. The question is though, what is your intention when you lie, and how often do you do it? To me, intention and frequency separates the lowlife liars from the normal honorable people.

We learn how to lie from our parents. From birth, they deceive us. They fill our minds with the magic of Santa, the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny. Oh, and don’t forget that you were a precious gift from the Stork who delivers babies too. (If I just ruined some magic for you or made you realize that your parents did indeed have sex to conceive you…I am so sorry, but the truth eventually always comes out.)

As we grow up, our parents tell us we are capable of doing anything we want. When in reality, we do not have the physical height for that basketball career we dream of. They promise us that those spankings and shots will hurt them more than it hurts us. Yet, no hands or needles touched them over the years. They look us straight in the face and claim they cannot find that the amazing movie we like to watch 18 times before lunch is missing and that they have no idea where it could be. Suspiciously, later, we find that movie behind the couch in the pages of their magazine, and they were not nearly as excited at the discovery as we were. They tell us if we touch our privates too much, they will fall off. If that were true, just imagine how many self-made eunuchs there would have been in high school after puberty!

I could go on, but you get the point. As parents, we lie to protect our kids, give them confidence and frankly, to keep ourselves sane because if we watch that Barney episode one more time, we just may lose our ever-loving minds. I get that and can respect it.

I can even appreciate the lies we tell to other adults at times. Again, these are lies with good intention though. For example, you lied to your girlfriend/wife and told her that her meatloaf was great. But, you really thought it was equivalent to what shoe leather may taste like. You agree with an acquaintance who claims their baby is the most beautiful child. However, when you look at the unfortunate lad, you wonder if you have ever seen an ugly baby and then you realize, you just did. You concoct some story about traffic to explain your tardiness to a party when really, your spouse was having a wardrobe malfunction of epic proportions and you had the forethought to not mention the truth as it might be embarrassing to your spouse…and maybe not so good for your health. To me, these are all acceptable forms of lies. That is hard for me to accept at first though since I loath lies. However, these lies help others, and that is noble and a form of storytelling, according to Daniel Wallace (The Kings and Queens of Roam). “A storyteller makes up things to help other people; a liar makes up things to help himself.”

The latter is the type of liar I cannot stand. Their intention is what makes them ugly. They lie to cheat the system, to cover up their tainted tracks or to claim unearned accolades. Their deceit builds upon itself and eventually, some even start to believe their own fantasies. I’ve known several liars in my life. From childhood to work to loved ones, I have witnessed some tales in my time. I have heard people lie about major illnesses to get sympathy or get out of a physical task. Others have spent more time lying about work they claimed to have finish, when it would have taken less time to just do the work. Others have fashioned audacious legends about their accomplishments to appear more grand and important. Sadly, who and what they were then, was impressive enough. I’ve heard of countless stories where spouses, both men and women, have woven such intricate fables to cover up their unfaithfulness. Isn’t one relationship time consuming enough people?

All of these types of lies come with a price. It seems, at least from my experiences in life, that the truth is a critical factor in the stability and longevity of relationships, businesses, and what not. “Things come apart so easily when they have been held together with lies,” said Dorothy Allison (Bastard Out of Carolina).

Just think about scandals in the world and relationships. Generally, the scandalous part is because some truth has been revealed. Now, I am not saying I have never lied. Of course I have. I am human. However, I try to be an honest, good person for the most part. But frankly, another reason I avoid lying is that I just don’t have the energy to do it. When I consider these scandals, I think of how exhausting it must have been to hide so many things. One lie seems to require another and another. Eventually, there is a web of things to remember. Hell, I cannot even remember my own birthday or what I walked into a room for sometimes. How in the heck will I remember 26 interconnected lies? I don’t think I could. Therefore, I just tell the truth. It is easier. Call me honest by default of laziness, but this is not a unique belief. Even Abraham Lincoln thought it was strenuous to lie. “No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar.” Too bad Lincoln’s belief seems to have escaped politics these days…

Other than requiring so much energy and memory though, lies seem to ruin trust and intimacy in a relationship as well. “Over time, any deception destroys intimacy, and without intimacy couples cannot have true and lasting love,” said Bonnie Eaker Weil (Financial Infidelity: Seven Steps to Conquering the #1 Relationship Wrecker). And doesn’t everyone ultimately want love? So why would we go out of our way and spend energy on ruining it?

The only excuses I can think of are: one, the liar is not happy with themselves and therefore, they lie to make themselves feel good; two, the liar is addicted to the challenge and excitement of lying; and three, they may actually believe their own lies. Regardless, when you realize someone has lied to you, it diminishes the trust you had for them, which according to Victoria Schwab (The Unbound) is difficult to regain. “Da used to say that lies were easy, but trust was hard. Trust is like faith: it can turn people into believers, but every time it’s lost, trust becomes harder and harder to win back.”

To me, relationships, both work related or intimate, are like bank accounts. When you have good encounters and experiences with people, you build a positive account. (I think this belief came from Stephen Covey book somewhere.) When you have negative events with them, you withdraw from the balance. So like in basic math, when you have more withdrawals than deposits, your account will become negative. Think about that coworker, friend or romantic partner who last lied to you. How did it affect your relationship with them? Friedrich Nietzsche summed up the after effects of lies very well. “I’m not upset that you lied to me, I’m upset that from now on I can’t believe you.”

And there is the rub. The more people lie to us, the less likely we are to believe them. Let’s just hope those known liars don’t tell you how good you look today or that you have a pretty baby.

 

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For the Walking With Intention series on The Seeker’s Dungeon.

 

 

 

Working Towards a Dream


workFor short time in life, I was blissfully working my dream job at a photography studio. Then, the U.S. economy crashed, I was laid off and then sent to a war zone. It was a lot to process in a short period. Ironically, going to war saved me from even more stress though.

My dream job was working for a photo studio. All day long I was either taking/editing pictures or designing coffee-table style albums. It was creative and exciting so I didn’t mind the hard work, long hours and average pay. I was learning elegance to a basic craft the Army had taught me.

As a military photographer/journalist, I learned to capture scenes of training events and actual missions through photography and articles. It was shoot (my camera, not my weapon), move and gather information for a corresponding story. If you missed a shot or quote, that was it, you missed it since there typically was no re-do. I covered assignments where I photographed various missions in small towns while deployed to Bosnia. There, I got to see the hope in the eyes of locals as they got the help they needed and pride in the faces of the Soldiers who got the chance to make a difference. Other times, I got to sit one on one with a Soldier and really talk to them about what they did and why, which generally resulted in an interesting feature article. It was rewarding, and I loved it. However, there was more for me to learn in the aspects of photography (and journalism).

That is where the civilian photo studio job filled the gaps. I photographed weddings, community events, portrait sessions and magazine shoots. I was learning more about my camera than I ever knew existed. I discovered that lighting and angles could create magic. I was witnessing huge moments of people’s lives: weddings, anniversaries, and milestones of their children (newborn through senior pictures). I created memories that they would cherish for years and perhaps even generations. Once, I even had the honor of unknowingly making the last portrait of a beloved grandmother before she unexpectedly passed away. The family called in their grief to order a candid picture I had taken of her laughing at a recent wedding. My photograph was to be her memorial picture. To me, that was an honor that I will always remember.

I’ve had some friends say, you can’t just take pictures your whole life. Frankly, that kind of hurt and I was rather offended. I mean is my dream less worthy? Less valid? I knew what they meant though. It is hard to make living off of photography. Just like it is hard to make a living off of writing, painting, singing and dancing. Those facts are pretty accurate according to statistics. And even when I did have a full time job at a photography studio, the pay was not enough to support my family alone. I could only do it because I was married and there was another income then.

Well, the dream has stopped and reality is now here. After redeploying and divorcing, I could not realistically return to the photo studio job. It just would not have been financially wise. But, as adults, we have to overcome and adapt to survive. That doesn’t mean that I have given up my dreams on working as a photographer and writer. No. It just means I have to readjust my plan. And plans take work, according to Colin Powell. “A dream doesn’t become reality through magic; it takes sweat, determination and hard work.”

For me, hard work is doing what I need to do to be financially stable, completing my obligations and THEN working on my dreams. So, I accepted a government civilian job as an editor for technical manuals. (Yes, there is a sleeping hazard associated with this job at times but it is a miracle job nonetheless, but that is another story altogether.) Then, after that, I am a Soldier who can be a photograph/writer/commander for the Army Reserve. (Only five more years and ?? deployments to go before I can retire too!) AND THEN, when I have time, I shoot pictures for people as my third job. Or as I like to say, my bonus job. I have also started two blogs so I can work on my writing and photography as well. It may not be the dream pattern and gets a little hard to schedule at times in between a social life, but, it is what I need and want to do. One job pays the bills and helps me develop my editing skills. The other job makes me serve something greater than myself all while helping me maintain my skills at photography, writing and resiliency. And then, I can play around and shoot everything from weddings to senior pictures to work group shots. It is a lot of work at times. However, I think it will pay off eventually. And according to Sam Ewing, it shows that I am not a quitter. “Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don’t turn up at all.”

Overall though, I truly believe that nothing will ever happen if I don’t make it happen. Like Powell said, dreams don’t just happen by magic. You have to figure out how to get to where you want to be. And when given a road block, you find a new way. There is always more than one way to a destination, but the only destination I want is the ultimate me. The best thing is, I get to decide on the route.

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For Dungeon’s Prompt ~ Live to Work or Work to Live.