Go Ahead, Astound Yourself

“If we did all the things we are capable of, we would astound ourselves.”
~ Thomas Edison ~

Most people have something they struggle with. For many of us, it is weight, and I am no different. Being in the Army, weight is not just something this girl fusses about. Yes, of course I want to look all cute in a bikini or a pair of jeans just like every other girl. However, my weight stress goes past that, way past that.

Being overweight in the Army can have severe consequences. If you are over the weight limit for your height, you are “taped” to determine your body fat. Every age and height and sex has predetermined range that is allowed.

For 15 years, I have struggled with this line and been dangerously close, and once was even two percent over the limit. This fact led to me being “flagged” and having a bad mark put on my permanent evaluation. Of note, it was right after I re-deployed and was dealing with a divorce and adjusting to a new job and place to live. It resulted in stress/depression eating that I thought was a better coping mechanism than other options like violence, drugs or alcohol. In hindsight, maybe I should have differently…

Anyway, It is a constant stress that I would love to get rid of. Yet, every year is the same story-too close for comfort, but I tend to pass, but barely.

Most people think I am just whining when I talk about weight though since I am pretty fit, appear to eat healthy and am not grossly obese. I run occasional half marathons and mud races. I swim laps periodically with my boyfriend. I play paintball with my son in the fall and go to paddle board yoga classes in the summer. I regularly eat salads with flax seeds and drink coffee with coconut oil. I even own several pairs of yoga pants! Come on! What else does a girl need to do here?

Nonetheless, I am always worrying about this. I am not talking like tons and tons of weight. It is usually 5-15 pounds or 1-2% body fat. Most people roll their eyes and say, “So what, what’s the big deal?” The big deal is I could lose my job. I could loose a retirement that I have 15 years of blood, sweat and tears invested in. The could lose my ability to be a Soldier. More important than all that though, is that I would fail a challenge against myself, one that is seemingly easier than others I have accomplished.

You would think all of the reasons above would make me do it, make me find a way to get far away from that max weight/body fat line. Yet, I still struggle. Yes, I do have a few obstacles that don’t help me that I can’t control. I am short. I have a medically diagnosed slow thyroid. My family has a history of diabetes and extra weight. Oh, and I freaking love eating food, cooking food, and baking food. Fortunately for me though, I do like working out too.

But enough is a enough. I am tired of the stress. So, I have to do something to break the walking-the-danger-zone line game. So I have joined my friend on a 6-days-week/2-month Piyo challenge where she will hold me accountable, daily. I signed up for a half marathon in March and an obstacle mud race in April that I need to train for as well. I am filling my calendar with fun ‘bonus’ work outs: TRX last week, paddle board yoga (in warm pool) this week, and an Insanity class the week after. I wear a pedometer with the goal of getting 10,000 steps a day in just daily movements. Then, the hardest part….eating. I eat tons of healthy stuff, I really do. But I also eat occasional bad things too or just too much in general. Can you really be a glutton with zucchini or endamame though?

I am tempted to just not eat, but I know that I can’t do that and it will not help me in the long run. My metabolism is slow enough already. So, all I can do is plan and work harder and smarter. And there comes a point, where I have to believe I can accomplish this one personal goal. I have accomplished a lot more difficult tasks in my life, so why not this one? How can I let 5-15 pounds beat me? I can’t. I have come too far and done too much.

As I struggle with this new plan (that has the goal of altering my daily habits), I came across a quote from Thomas Edison. “If we did all the things we are capable of, we would astound ourselves.”

Good point Mr. Edison. Good point. I got this. I can do this. Watch out self and get prepared to be astounded.

To see this week’s posts from both challenges above, just click below.

Be Wow

Writer’s Quote Wednesday