When I am gone, you’ll wonder why
Having no idea what’s inside
Cuz you never saw all my fears
And you never saw any tears I hid with lies
I smiled and acted-all was fine
Really, I was over the line
Darkness consumed all of my soul
Hiding from the world took its toll on all that’s mine
Never wanted to feel this gloom
Was like being stuck in a tomb
I looked for a way to the light
Didn’t want to die, tied to fight so I could bloom
I wanted to feel joy again
But the feeling would never end
You couldn’t help, I chose to die
I just had to give up the lie that I could mend
~~~~~~~~~~
For dVerse Poets Florette Challenge.
No worries readers, this is not a letter of intent.
It is merely a poem about the very real struggle some have with depression, and I am NOT recommending suicide. I have been through my own seasons of deep sadness and have known many who suffer from depression. I have also coped with loved ones/comrades attempting suicide. They do not chose their struggles and it is hard for some to find their way out.
If you are one of those suffering, please know you are not alone and it is OK to get help. Please get help. You are loved by more than you think. And, some of us really do understand your pain.
Chasing Life and Finding Dreams 
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Readers can find comfort in knowing they are not alone. That tomb you mention is also like a cloud that settles over someone…as much as one tries to push it away, it won’t budge. The right combination of meds and dialog are helping lots of people; there is help and hope…life ought not be so painful..for no reason. Very nice flow to this poem 😉
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Thank you for your comment. You describe it well. I think the more people realize help is out there, the more they will be willing to go. Life can be so hard, yet so beautiful at other times. So I hope they never give up those chances for joy
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That last line sounds like the first step towards acceptance and healing..nice florette.
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It certainly could be. Realizing you are in a bad place and need help is key.
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A tragic tale. I’m glad to hear that it is not intent…but rather a reminder of the struggle that so many go through every day.
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No intent. I’m very very happy right now. But, I can remember sadness and can relate to those who still do.
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If you had not put a post-script I would’ve been really worried – your words feel like they came from deep down, describing the pain so vividly and clearly, they tore my heart apart.
Thank you for sharing this poem. Hugs.
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I can say that I’ve felt lost in sadness at times in my life, do they do come from some understanding. However, I could never do that to my children and after experiencing scares from loved ones, I know the pain it causes. It wasn’t always easy, but I tried to remember the hope in another day. And faith in God certainly played a part of course. And he is rewarding me now with more than I deserve:)
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Very powerful. Thanks for adding the disclaimer,
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Of course. I would hate to have someone think I was promoting that option. It’s an awful option that hurts your loved ones forever.
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I would have been worried about you. I’ve been through that with a blog friend before and I felt sad and hopeless.
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I can only imagine. I know that hopeless feeling. It’s awful, very awful. I hope they are better.
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Your poem tells of a very real scenario where people feel that to die is the only way to find peace again. I’ve dealt with depression too through the years but have never felt like committing suicide. I too appreciated your closing lines that encourage those who are suffering to get help. Thank you for your most meaningful share and for joining in with the prompt…excellent work.
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Thank you. I can’t lie, it’s crossed my mind over the years. Fortunately, it’s never been a thought that I took too seriously, but more of an overly dramatic fleeting thought in a crazy moment. So it passed. But, I’ve thought it nonetheless. Therefore, I understand the thought process to an extent. I just hope people get help, and that’s the hard part. We all hate to ask for help.
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I’m sure it’s crossed many people’s minds but maybe not seriously…thank goodness for that, and glad that your thought was fleeting. I understand it too, how people can get to that place of hopelessness.
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It can be easy to lose sight of hope a times. But, there is always some. In hindsight, my hard times had purpose: taught me things, made me stronger and put me into situations where I met people I may not have met otherwise.
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Very true. My hard times had a purpose too and I’m much stronger because of them. Thanks for sharing!
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Depression can lead to death, sadly ~
A powerful write in a florette form ~ Cheers!
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Indeed it can, sadly. Thank you for your feedback. This was my first florette form 🙂
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A world of dark and
light.. differences..
and similarities..
but a Universe of
human mind is no less
varied than the rest of
all that is..
a place that can be so different
in light or dark.. that one will not be
distinguishable to
a person living
in another
dimension
of dark or light
senses and feelings..
Depression.. a bedfellow
of anhedonia.. for a full
66 months for me.. eras
of months and years
in young adult
life.. too..
but what i do
now more than
anything that even with
the worst pain known to
mankind Type two Trigeminal
Neuralgia from wake to sleep
accompanying that zero
point of emotions
as well.. REALIZE
iS.. iT CAN GET BETTER
AND OMG I WISH I COULD
HAVE FOUND ANYONE WITH
Type Two Trigeminal Neuralgia
in the entire world.. but there
were none who experienced
what i experienced then
in finding anyone..
and why i mention
it so often
in poetry..
just in case
there is someone
out there in real
literal human
hell
too..
anything is possible
with one simple
word..
survive.. as there
is another now
and potential
of something
anything
different
with the next now..
and my recovery was and is
both miraculous and sudden
not from just that pain..
but from 19 medical
disorders and
the dead
heart too..
with a real
Phoenix human
rising from the ashes..
back on or about
July 22nd 2013..
in a miracle beyond my
wildest dreams of human
possibilities and potential.. but
truly there are no limits or
expectations
with never
giving
up..:)
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Moving and the best part-never giving up! There is always hope:)
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Yes..!..:)
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Wow, wow, wow! This is really such a strong poem using the form. I think the form even kind of strengthens the message. When I wrote mine I couldn’t think of a serious subject (sigh), but now that I have read yours I wish I would have! Excellent message.
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Oh thank you. Very sincere comment, which is so appreciated. I could not decide what to write on at first either an then, this came to mind.
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Depression, when it is clinical, certainly can be a killer (i.e.: Robin Williams). Your use of the form was excellent, but your topic & style was so powerful, the form fades from focus; nice job.
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Thank you so much. Your comment means so much. I just read some of your work and you are a gifted poet indeed! So I appreciate your feedback. Thank you.
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This is such an incredibly powerful poem. You allow each of us to feel how deep the despair that comes with significant depression can be. For my part, I appreciate your afterward just in case some reader could misrepresent it. You give a call for hope.
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Depression has touched me, friends and family. I’ve been lucky to have some of them fail at their suicide attempts and are now healing. Some you would never know they ever tried. Others are still on their journey to wellness. It’s hard for loved ones to understand it sometimes. But, we must if we want to reach them. There is always hope. Sometimes we just need to let others know we need it. I certainly didn’t want any to think I supported it or was making light of it. It’s very real. I only wanted to hint at what they could feel, to spread understanding.
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You are so courageous to share this…an important mission to help others. Bless you.
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After years of training, the Army has told us, there is no shame in taking a knee and asking for help. So it doesn’t feel courageous but just a fact of life. But thank you for that comment. I means a lot. And we all have sad days where we think desperate thoughts, don’t we?
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This was so touching and brought back my own days of darkness and depression, the feeling and belief that I’d never mend. I especially appreciate your disclaimer at the end, the reminder to those who are still in darkness that there is hope and they are loved, even if it doesn’t feel like it. Peace, Linda
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Thank you. I’m glad you found your way out of darkness. It’s an awful place to live for too long. I do hope they know, I really do.
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I have been there and these words need to be repeated for all who will hear!
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I just hope that those who need love and light, find it before it’s too late.
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Depression is so hard to cope with, but such a wonderful way to present sadness.
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It is indeed. I only hope those struggling with it find light. Thank you for your comment.
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