Finding You, Finding Life

Your voice fills my mind

Saturating me with craved images of you, I dream

Dream that a lost love found me, at last, in you

 

Your company stuns my body

Dazing me with the fluidity of your presence, I stare

Stare at the gift God has given me, how do I keep you here

 

Your kiss mesmerizes my thoughts

Freezing me like a lioness with belladonna in her eyes

My eyes that only see you as the world disappears

 

Your touch fills my soul

Flooding me like a lone streetlight amongst the darkness

The darkness that had become my heart, now fades

 

Your love completes my life

Filling my heart with passion and purpose, I live

Live to be better and make you smile, we are one

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For d’Verse’s ~ Poetics Line em Up.

A challenge where you take at least three lines of their poem to make yours.

 

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30 thoughts on “Finding You, Finding Life

  1. I’m not as taken with the idea of a “love” that totally consumes another person or yourself. It feels unbalanced to me. And that phrase, “how do I keep you here” brought up feelings of clinging oppression. Living to be better, yes, and to make another smile…I agree, are very nice.

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    • Good points! Those can be taken to extremes for sure. Personal space and time are a definite requirement for me so that’s not how I meant it. Great feedback that it can be taken that way though. Good to hear another perspective. Thanks! I’ll have to consider different wording options for the sake of meaning:) I certainly don’t want a consuming love but maybe a love that is more like the water that fills all the gaps, completely me and filling my life with joy. Someone to share the journey with and hold my hand when I stumble. Now, as for the keep you here part…yeah, better wording could have been used to convey the goal of hoping the other person will want to stay, be in love as well and feel the same joy. Thanks so much for the comment, gives me things to consider from an audience perspective.

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      • I could be overly sensitive about this issue too, so you can take into account that aspect too. If you’re feeling joy that is a good barometer that things are going good! A long marriage with a controlling and manipulative partner has made me become on “high alert” to any of these qualities between couples. It definitely is nice to have someone to share the journey with. And thanks for your openness and thoughtful reply.
        Gayle ~

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        • I completely understand. I once dated someone who was becoming increasingly controlling. It was smothering. But the awareness can help us avoid that in the future, I hope.

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  2. I completely understand that. Sometimes my life and devices do not cooperate with all that I want to read either. Glad you found the time today and it pleased you. 🙂 I am happy to have found your blog too. It’s a win win for us both.

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    • Thank you. I agree. A good relationship takes two. And I can’t imagine he would smile too long if I was all about me. And, he has such a handsome smile. It is a joy to bring it out and see it.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Ok, so I have tried to comment on your poem several times. Yet, I can’t see or tell if they worked. So, if you get the same or close to the same comments about seven times, I am sorry. If you get no comments, I am sorry. I am at a loss on why my attempts at your blog are failing. Nonetheless, they appear to be. Phew.

      So, what I wanted to say all those times was that I really liked your poem. I actually first saw it from the link list for this challenge. I really enjoyed the vivid image that your strong words gave me: red flag, mangled fists and swollen lips. I am still learning and relearning different forms of poetry again so it is great to have found this group. Thanks for the welcome:)

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      • My blog comments allow for openID or anonymous comments. Its okay as I understand the challenge of commenting on blogger. One suggestion is to use a google ID or goggle account.

        Thanks for participating in our OpenLinkNight ~

        Liked by 1 person

        • I’ll have to try the anonymous route if you didn’t see my other attempts. I do enjoy seeing all these different bloggers’ poetry. It’s great to see the variety and styles.

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  3. Others out here on the trail took the romantic route, but none were more effective than yours; I was one that found the darkness in the words, but I must say your interpretation pumped up some lightheartedness, & forced a smile. I like the line /your company stuns my body/.

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