The other day I bought myself flowers. I saw them. I liked them. And I thought, “These will be fun to photograph!” And what girl doesn’t like flowers?
As I started photographing my flowers, I thought about a former boyfriend. He always brought me flowers. It was just one of the many things he did that was sweet. The pleasant surprise of getting flowers for no reason always made my heart flutter. I felt special and loved. Unfortunately, as the relationship grew, I realized there were certain things missing. Just like these black and white images of the flowers I bought, the relationship was lacking color.
Yes, we both cared for each other deeply. Statements of love were even exchanged. But there was something in each of us that blocked the color from each other. No matter how hard we tried, we could not find the full beauty of each other. We could see all the elements of love: kindness, concern, friendship, and attraction just like you can see the flowers elements of beauty: petals, stems and pistils. However, we didn’t have the same goals or desires. And I found that I was starting to hold back my statements, goals and actions. I didn’t want to upset him. I didn’t want him to feel neglected. I was quickly fading. Our love was fading. We were still a functioning couple, but more and more we were becoming desaturated.
So I as I look at these black and white images of these flowers, I think they are pretty, but there is so much more. They are missing their passion, their personality, their punch. They are merely elegant replicas of the true flower. I find that they are very symbolic for how I felt near the end of that relationship. I was losing my color and passion, and what was left was a desaturated spirit…and I didn’t like it.
Needless to say, that relationship ended as it should have. I certainly hold nothing against the man either. He was a wonderful, loving man and I wish him well. We just needed different things and as our lives begin to intertwine, we discovered it was not right. I am a passionate person who lived too many years in black and white. I went through the motions. Everything looked pretty from the outside, but inside I had no color. So when that started to happen again, I knew I had to go. I cannot live in black white, regardless of how pretty it appears at times. No, I need full color, lots of passion, and sometimes over saturation. I do wonder though…is that too much for others to handle?
For the phoneography challenge which is hosted by Lens and Pens by Sally. Click on the badge to go to Sally’s B&W post. She always has wonder pictures with inspiring words to accompany them. And, since she is a wonderful challenge hostess, she also lists the links to other bloggers’ submissions. So click on the badge and be inspired:)
To see a few of the full color pictures of flowers, check out my quick Orange Challenge post. I just took some more pictures with my “real” camera though, so I will post those in a few days as well.